1/12/08 – 7/12/08

“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand”.

From the Bible, Matthew 12:25

Kinda apt when you consider Gallasgate, What Do You Do With A Problem Like Bendtner and now The Ebooooue Affair.

Just what the fick is happening to us right about now? It’s one thing moaning and groaning at players who you feel could do better but, to boo him when his picture comes up before he even kicks a ball in anger or, to boo him because he’s made two mistakes on his return from a sustained absence is quite abhorrent.

Not only is it abhorrent it serves to galvanise the opposition and it’s support as well as sewing seeds of doubt amongst our already mentally fragile confidence.

To my mind this ‘nascent’ and recently ‘popular’ form of support needs to be stamped out like a stale unwanted fag-end.

Now, how many of you like me watch live footie via live online streaming? Don’t ya just love their brazen achievement of giving us the common folk the ability to circumvent the conglomerates’ iron grip on our purse strings? The freedom from bleeding our pockets dry from death by subscription or over-inflated match ticket torture. Oh how I love to rail against the machine, that smugness I feel when the buffering ends and the two minute delayed ‘live’ action appears upon my screen, the warm glow which envelopes me in the knowledge that I’ve once again stolen a march on the behemoths that are Sky, Setanta and the hated authorities of the Premier League.

Livefootydoctor, usstreams, and justintv, to name but a few Robin Hoods we know and love.

Now Justin.tv is a viral phenom which has taken the internet by storm. It’s creator Justin Kam started it by recreating a kind of Truman Show. He videoed himself 24 hrs a day and from that humble beginning has built a portal which has produced over 650,000 new broadcasters over 90,000 channels.

Not only can you watch football, you can watch any sport you desire, as well as films, documentaries and self made webcasts.

One such webcast was that of American student Abraham Biggs who decided to broadcast his own suicide. Not the first but, the cruelty of it was that those watching actually thought it was a talentless prank before one hearty soul actually realized what the hell was going on..

But let’s not dwell on the negatives! There’s a possibility of a big sting in the tail of the PL. Word has it they’re preparing an almighty assault upon justintv using their heavy weight arsenal of top notch lawyers.

Justintv has already had to pull a number of broadcasts form its portal so, my friends I suggest you enjoy the freeness while it lasts. We may never see the like again.

I forgot to mention the previous week the atrocities of the Mumbai bombings. Thankfully none of our friends in India were caught up in the tragedy but others were not so fortunate.

Props to the Indian Commandoes for taking out those ‘muslim’ terrorists. No negotiations, no pizzas, no planes and no exchange of prisoners.

Right good f***** job there.

In the aftermath of the attacks the Asian Subcontinent is on the brink of allout war as the Indian Fonejacker calls the President of Pakistan and threatens military action against his country. President Zardari is forced to put his airforce on high alert and tensions remain critical until Condoleeza Rice calls both ministries to advise them it was a prank caller.

You telling me a crank caller can get to the Pakistani President but no-one could pick up the phone to find out what really happened? Words fail me….

That’s enough of the randomness of current affairs. Let’s talk football and forum.

The new kids on the block were back in the spotlight with a tricky tie up at Burnley in the CC. The Lancashire club had vanquished Chavski at the bridge in the previous round and were in the midst of a run which had taken them to 4th in the Championship.

It was viewed as a very good test for our boys.

Unfortunately they came up short despite having 100 1on1’s and failing to take one.

It served to prove they’ve a lot of work to do to usurp some of the more established players in the first team, but at least the cup run gave us a chance to see a few of the stars of the future.

The Wigan game was always gonna be the biggest test of the week despite the Chavski game and the kindergarten kids playing up at Scumley.

And we made bloody hard work of it. No thanks to our wonderful fans though. Just cos a player makes a couple of misplaced passes he’s subjected to insults and a chorus of boos usually reserved for such luminaries as Nancy and Fat Lumpard…

Eboue cut a disconsolate figure as he was pulled off toward the end of the match, after having come on himself as a sub for Sam Nas.

What a great bunch of f****** fans we’ve got, eh. Can’t outsing the various hordes of away supporters but, can give them a run for their money when it comes to chastising our own players.

Thankfully I’m glad to be amongst an overwhelming majority of forum members who have the sense to see injustice when it rears it’s ugly head.

On the forum Scottish Lass asks the resident music gurus their opinion on James Blunt’s music, and the inspiration behind it. The question is met with a mixed bag of responses. One such came from The Real Gooner:

“All this coming from an Oasis fan is laughable. They are comical posturing and comdemning all around while clearly plagiarising the Beatles. Jay Z was brilliant at Glastonbury where he so gently took the pi** out of Noel this is all an opinion but judging by the rest of the crowd and the sales of their latest album of Beatles covers not one I’m on my own with ”

In another musical thread GES asks peeps whether they like him also think The Killers as nearly as talentless as  Scouting for Girls.

My fave response come from Grabs who says:

“Frankly, they’ve gone a bit “Oh-er, Kooey sailer”…. if you know what I mean.”

My favourite thread of the week comes from ADS who started the ‘Stupid things birds say…’ thread.

And he kicked it off in fine style with this little pearler:

“Me and a few mates were watching football one night when she (ADS’s wife) came in…

Wifey ‘how long is left’
Me ‘second halfs just kicked off’
Wifey ‘how many halves are there?’
Me ‘three’
Wifey ‘Cool’ “

Top fickn entertainment, my boy!

Roy ‘I’m still the biggest cnut in town’ Keane takes his leave from Sunderland. After spunking upward of £60m of hard cash of piles of piss like Chimbonda, Varga, Tainio and Diouf he decides he doesn’t want to play anymore cos he can’t buy a win. Seen it all before; can’t get his own way so opts for the easy route out, and leaves the other poor mugs to clear up his mess.

You fickn yellow bellied piece of snake sh*te. And Niall ‘nice but dim’ Quinn defends him saying we haven’t seen the last of him???? Mate, what the feck are you on? Who needs a prima donna who abuses money as if he’s Nancy Dell’Olio’s evil twin?

As I come to the conclusion of yet another dynamically pointless review I’d like to give a warm welcome to essexgunner, send a big congrats to Pacman who ‘had up’ the Goldenboy and F*** off once and for all Mr Fraudley Harrison. Pleassssssse!!!

Well, my good friends I’ll leave you with the words of one former US President who once said:

“Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.”

– Franklin D Roosevelt

Let’s hope the players and fans take that to the Dragon’s Stadium as they face off against FC Porto

Ate mais tarde!!!