17/11/08 – 23/11/08

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening one and all.

I was sifting through my archive of insignificant quotes trying to find something that could make sense of yet more madness that’s besieged us this week. After banging my head on the wall I finally found a random quote from one T.S. Eliot:

“Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm – but the harm does not interest them.”

Big Silly Gallas decides to punish his petulant teammates by crying off (AGAIN!) to the ever gluttonous media, in turn jeopardising his status in the changing room as well as creating the necessary publicity for a little known memoir from yours truly.

The subject must’ve broken all known records on GW as page after page and thread upon thread of anything even loosely related to it manifested in peeps’ despair at this latest instalment of Gallic passion, all too often presented in an improper manner.

So, okay he was a prat for blabbing from the church spire as if impersonating Quasimodo.

As Trina observed he spoke of the discord between not just 2 players fighting but several players and a certain influential 25 yr old. Willie at half time attempted to defuse the situation but was then confronted by the said player.

He lamented about the Baby Bentley culture which allegedly infiltrates the younger players. How they’re more interested in their wage packets, cars, clothes and accessories.

If this is to be believed at least now we know how it is we have the 3rd highest wage bill in the Prem.

Like him or loathe him I think he’s raised some a few interesting points the backroom staff might need to iron out.

How many times this season have we seen them fail to ‘man up’ in the face of opposition who’ve obviously been given a dose of the Art of War prior to kick off?

You can just visualise the likes of Tony Pulis feeding his boys stuff like:

“The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy’s will to be imposed on him”

Or Sparky Hughes spitting:

“Making no mistakes establishes the certainty of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is already defeated”

Do you ever wonder why it is we just can’t seem to execute tactics worked on in training that would enable us to come away with something… anything other than a defeat?

I mean, what is the point of beating your ManUre’s and then losing to your Aston Vanilla’s and Manc Citehs???

But hey, don’t think I’m trying to absolve him of any responsibility, the sin he committed was cardinal in its deed and pissed on the old adage of what’s said in the changing room stays there.

Who knows whether he’s trying to engineer a move away to be reunited with his childhood sweetheart Makelele in Gay Paris or, if it was to raise the profile of his auto-bio having taken lessons from Andrew Sachs’ grand daughter in the Art of Kiss N Tell??

On TV John Sergeant dramatically quit Strictly Come Dancing citing that:

“there is now a real danger I might win the competition. Even for me that would be a joke too far”

Well let me tell you, once I heard he was hounded out I got straight on the blower and filed my complaint as one of the 20,000 odd outraged viewers!

John, I’d like to say I will never forget your classic dance step of dragging your partner across the floor like a sack of spuds. Triffic, truly triffic!

I mean c’mon we’ve lost live football, F1, boxing and now Mr Sergeant! What the feck am I paying my TV licence for?! Okay, I haven’t actually got round to paying it but when I do…

Madge and Mrs Madge’s marriage is declared a decree nisi. He doesn’t even ask for a penny of her estimated £300m fortune after 8 years of marriage. That after giving Eva Longoria a run for her money as the archetypal housewife. What a gallant effort!!

And Madge still has a pop at him for being emotionally retarded…

The BNP list is leaked by a disgruntled ex-member and over 12,000 names are released into the public’s consciousness. Doctors, lawyers, police, prison officers and other public servants beat a hasty retreat as newly formed vigilante groups prepare to mete out their own brand of martial law in kangaroo courts across the land.

Thank goodness no-one realised I was on that list as the only Black Nationalist in England. As I write this I’ve taken to squatting in Churchill’s old Cabinet War Rooms!

After Aston Vanilla’s defeat John Terry gives Arsenal the dreaded vote of confidence…

Forum News

ADS has declares Movie Beef with the Stuart Little series.

Niko admits he was sent to his room whilst his little sisters watched the film, and whilst there he pens the official “get Fabrestuta back” thread.

This is welcomed by some (even GES would you believe!?!) but derided by others (including Inchy).

Ozgooner proudly presents a picture of himself as the new Travel Organiser for the Flight Centre (Pic can be seen in Ozgooner on tour thread). How he got the job wearing a bling-blong t-shirt and combat shorts is truly astounding…

Gigi show’s us her perverse sense of humour which includes a girl landing headfirst on the concrete whilst performing some ridiculous stunt and, a tree surgeon who’s left dangling from a 100ft tree with his chainsaw after trying to cut the top of the tree.

Up For Grabs wants to end world hunger by giving them all a pie…

Sooo, how should I conclude this week’s fandabidosy episode?

Well, on the basis that some folks on the forum are losing faith with the team, the boss, the board and the ethos, I could do a lot worse than giving you another piece of Sun Tzu:

“When the common soldiers are too strong and their officers too weak, the result is INSUBORDINATION. When the officers are too strong and the common soldiers too weak, the result is COLLAPSE. When the higher officers are angry and insubordinate, and on meeting the enemy give battle on their own account from a feeling of resentment, before the commander-in-chief can tell whether or no he is in a position to fight, the result is RUIN.”

Championship football here we come? Hey don’t berate me, I’m just voicing some members’ opinions, pal.