27/10/08 – 02/11/08

Under usual circumstances this opening gambit would ordinarily serve as my closing gambit, but such is the condition of our condition’s condition I shall begin with a little bit of Shakespeare:

“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.”

So, I see you wondering, what the heck does this have to do with the Gooners? What’s The Chuckster waffling on about now??? :confused2:

I shall kindly break it down as best I can.

The first line “cowards die many times before their deaths…” is self explanatory.  Think of the players in our team who are afraid to face challenges in front of them. Those guys who are afraid to take risks and fight for the good of the team. It says those that chicken out of such situations die a little each and every time they turn and run.
Remember the players of old who were “valiant”, who’d put their life on the line for the cause without fear of consequence.  Those icons who’ve refused to die a little in the face any obstacle that came their way.  “it seems strange to me that men should fear; seeing that death is a necessary end…”
So when we finally see this valiant player die (think outmatched in footballing terms), this is the only time he will experience death because he’s never shirked the confrontations laid before him.

FOOK! Caesar should take a look at a few of our boys to see what fear really looks like!

So ends today’s English Literature class.

What a terrible week we’ve had to endure eh?!
First that capitulation against a Spuds team who really and truly should’ve been used as Arse-wipes come the end of the match.  ‘Arry factor! Meh! What fickn Arry factor?! We served Spuds redemption on our own thank you very kindly!  Just how the Feck do you go and throw away a 2 goal lead with 5 minutes left, including injury time??!! Add to that there were rumours that Willie and AW had a set-to in the dressing room where someone, allegedly caught a shiner!   And then we had to endure AW’s after match interview where he reckoned there were positives to take from the match????!!??!?!!
Well those bloody ‘positives’ were not in evidence after Saturday’s feeble showing at the Britannia Stadium were they??!! He said they were prepared for Delap’s exercet missiles.  Really?  Just how did you prepare the boys???  Cos they played like a bunch of mistreated Catholic school boys en route to alter service!
And to add insult to injury (literally) RvP reverted back to type by getting himself sent off for a moment of petulance.  If you’re gonna get yourself carded son, at least nut the f**ker on his bonce. Be a legend and give the fans something to rave about. Do a Cantona and fly kick the b*stard!

Back on GW peeps are at the end of their tethers.  Saturday evening can easily be forgiven as being interpreted as the Night of the Long Knives…. The Real Gooner has issued a silverware or out ultimatum, IcSz posted an article by a certain somebody from another forum which asks what has Mr Wenger done to his beloved Arsenal.  There’s a wengerball or trophies thread, and an AW how long thread.  To name but a few…
Correct me if I’m wrong but there seems to be a common theme here… and not just on GW either.  Is this the topical debate on the ‘stands’ (or theatre seats, take your pick)?
Now it has me thinking: Are the once distant murmurs that blew softly in the wind beginning to sound like the irresistible cries of hostile masses baying for the head of a legend? Or is this the reaction from those who’ve just been a little bit spoilt?
Hey, don’t have a go at me, I’m only the observer here! I post it as I see it…

In other news Lewis Hamilton finally reigns supreme despite nearly losing when it surely seemed easier to win.  But fair play to the laddie.  Consistantly better than the rest of the field.  Personally I say he deserved first prize simply cos of the slice of gash hanging off his arm!
Now his star’s in the ascendancy who knows how much of a global uber star he’ll be.  One thing you can bank on is that he’ll never return to Little Britain.  He won’t want Mr Darling and the taxman getting their dirty mits on his hard earned wealth.  Or was it cos he couldn’t stand being recognized by all and sundry when he popped down the corner shop for the paper and a loaf of bread?

England rugby leaguers get trounced by the Aussies.  England cricketers get humiliated by Stanford’s superstars.  And then find out he’s tossing a few googlies with the WAGS.  Now we know why KP said they couldn’t keep their eyes on the prize.
Hmmm… now let’s see: £10m vs a WAG…? Considering the WAGS were throwing themselves at the old wrinkly that’s a tough one that innit?

Jennifer Hudson’s mother and sister are found murdered at the family home.  Her sister’s son was also missing and the prime suspect was the boy’s stepfather.  The boy was later found dead with multiple gunshot wounds.
Hard to imagine that despite the money and success Ms Hudson has shared with members of her family some b*stard crackhead piece of cr*p wants to take it all away.

Johnathan Ross and part time comedian (fulltime boner) Russell Brand see fit to play a radio prank on unsuspecting Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs.  They leave a voice message describing his darling, sweet, adorable grand daughter to be a gothic nymph who shagged Mr Brand.  This ‘harmless’ prank backfires dramatically leading to Mr Brand’s resignation, Mr Ross’s suspension 12 weeks full pay and Ms Douglas the Radio 2 controller also forced to resign.
Some 35,000 complaints are received by the Beeb as the furore snowballs into an avalanche.
Asked whether he thought they got what they deserved Mr Sachs said simply “Que?” and then pressed on his grand daughter’s rather unorthodox form of employment and subsequent tabloid revelations he replied “I know naaaaaa-ting!” (sorry folks I just couldn’t resist).

Some forum announcements now:

Well done to Inchy for getting the Poster of the Month award. Unfortunately he won’t be seen donning the ‘manly’ colour of purple haze cos of some technicality or another (poppycock and piffle in other words…)
A warm welcome goes out to Mazinho, KenGooner, Leon Rommel and… ermm… ahem… *cough* natalispur *cough*
After the week we’ve had let’s look forward to the coming week and use it as a fillip! Luckily we’ve only got Fener at home and then the visit of ManUre…  I’d love to see us stick to them.  Something tells me Red Noise might feel the backlash of a wounded animal.

As whee said:
“And don’t say “it won’t happen” or “we can’t though” because the defeatist bullshit that feeds through to the players.

We’re stronger when we’re being written off.”

Good way to round things off methinks

So, for another week I’ve gotta dash, folks!  Me mate’s putting up a big prize in tonight’s darts league match down the local Cock & Bull. It’s £20 and an engraved tankard, winner takes all!! Gonna mosy on down there and see if I can swag a WAG!!  You get some classy mutton down there I tells ya!!

Wish me luck.

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